Why You’re Not Writing (Even When You Want To) with Friedemann Findeisen
Life always seems to find a way to get in the way of the things we really want to do… I’ve been wanting to start working out and stretching again for months, yet I always find myself checking my emails first thing in the morning and getting sucked into work from that moment on. How long has it been for you since you wanted to prioritize songwriting or practicing your instrument?
I recently had a chat with my friend Friedemann Findeisen from Holistic Songwriting Academy where we talked all around mindset for creative people and how we can set ourselves up for success and get things done. So if you’ve had songwriting on your “I’ve been meaning to do this” list - This is for you.
Building A New Habit
Most new years resolutions fail after just 1 month because people don’t understand how to build a new habit. If you want to write songs consistently, you have to make it a habit to do so. Friedemann broke down the system to build a new habit for us:
Pick A Trigger
Every time you do this, you will then practice your new habit (in our case songwriting). For example, every time you brush your teeth (trigger), you will then take 30 minutes to work on your songwriting (habit). Just make sure that your trigger is something specific.
Plan Ahead
You need to make it as easy as possible to follow through. For example, set out your work out clothes the night before so that you don’t try to come up with excuses not to go on a run the next morning. If you’re using instruments to write songs, make sure they’re tuned and ready to go. This could also mean learning more about songwriting so that you feel more confident in your abilities to write a song. You don’t want to quit before you even got started, just because it’s too complicated to start!
Reward Yourself
After you worked on your songwriting, went on your run, or whatever your new habit is, give yourself a little reward. The brain loves positive reinforcement and you’re more likely to do it again the next day when there’s a reward attached to it.
You Have To Be Bad First
Another reason why people don’t get started with the things they really want to do is because they are scared that they are going to be bad at it. And let’s be real - no one likes doing things they’re bad at… Humans want to do things they’re good at because it makes them feel good! But unfortunately, everyone starts off bad. Babies start off being terrible walkers… but eventually after trying again and again and again they finally get it and now you don’t even think about walking anymore - you just do it!
Friedemann says that he now gets excited when he’s writing a bad song because he knows how amazing it will feel a year from now when he looks back at the song and sees how far he’s come that year. Seeing your own growth is a really great feeling, but you can only do that if you’re not afraid to start!
Also, we hear about these stories of hit songs being created in just 2 hours all the time and so when you can’t write a song in 2 hours that’s absolutely amazing you feel inadequate. While it might be true that they had the base structure, melody and lyrics done for the song, I promise you they went through multiple rounds of editing those songs. So what sounds like was a 2 hour song, was more like a 20+ hour song.
Every songwriter - even the pros, or especially the pros, edit their songs. You start out with an initial draft and then you make edits to it to improve the song. You should do the same thing - don’t expect greatness from the first try. Just start with something and then edit later.
Practice Your Desired Outcome
Anything we want to get better at we have to practice - that includes finish your songs. I see too many writers never finishing their songs because they get stuck somewhere. It’s really important that you’re also practicing to finish your songs. Even if you don’t really like what you’re writing in the moment - see it through to the end. Again you can always edit the song later or chose to just leave it as is, but make sure you at least finish the whole outline of the song before you call it quits. The more you finish your songs, the better you’ll get at finishing your songs.
Where Focus Goes Energy Flows
A lot of aspiring writers are worried that they will run out of ideas to write songs about. Friedemann said that when he was young he asked his mom (who’s an author) if she’s ever worried about running out of ideas and what she said really hit me. She said “When you’re young you’re worried about running out of ideas. But when you’re my age you’re worried that you won’t have enough time to get all your good ideas out there in your lifetime”.
Uffff - take that in for a moment…
Our time on this earth is limited… Don’t push off the things you really want to do, that make you happy, that are important to you any longer.
Friedemann also talked about training your brain to receive more inspiration for your songwriting. You can think of your brain like the Instagram algorithm - When you watch a video for a couple seconds longer than some of the other videos, it eventually starts showing you more videos like that and before you know it your whole feed is full or gardening content (just me? ok 🙈). Your brain works the same way. When you spend more time and focus on the things that interest you, it will start showing you more of those things - and in songwriting that means you will now see inspiration everywhere around you!
Important vs Urgent
The last thing I want to talk about from our conversation is the difference between things that are urgent and things that are important. Most people focus on the things that are urgent in life. It makes sense - those are the things that need to get done right away. But the reason those things are urgent is because of outside factors… You have to reply to this email right now because this person needs an answer today. You would probably rather do something else - that email is not important to you, but it is urgent because someone else said so.
Things that are important are important because of internal factors. Songwriting is important to you because it helps you process your thoughts and feelings and because it makes you happy. But it’s not urgent that you write a song… no one depends on you to write that song.
Most people fill their plates so full with urgent things that they never get to the important things and that often leads to deep dissatisfaction in life. I urge you to set aside all the urgent stuff for a week or even just a day and focus on what’s important to you instead and see how you feel. I promise that email will still be there tomorrow… But stop putting off your desires because usually someday turns into never. Let’s turn someday into today instead.
Just Get Started
Your mind is an incredibly powerful tool - so make sure that it’s not sabotaging you and that you use it to your advantage instead.
🎧 Check out the full conversation I had with Friedemann here:
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